The Storm is passing over…
The storm
I’ve never had a fear of storms. As a matter of fact, as a child I welcomed them. I was living in Louisiana when hurricane Andrew went through Florida and then into Louisiana. I remember the tension and the fear of my family around me… not knowing if they storm was worsening in our area because the power was out. It was serious, but I wasn’t afraid. I have always understood the severity of a storm like a hurricane- I don’t want to sound ignorant. I have merely never seen terror in the eye of the storm.
As it turned out, we didn’t get extreme weather in our town; just a few down power lines and shingles were missing here and there. That was just life to me- and I was only 5.
The rain
I have been alive for 19 years now… and I would have to say I like where I am today. I have only been alive for 19 years and my life hasn’t been all sunshine and roses either. Life is hard for everyone. We aren’t born with an immunity to hurt… it must be calloused, we must endure it. We experience degrees of life and change and sorrow, but why? I have dealt with death, relocation, betrayal, adultery, verbal abuse, near death experiences and severe depression; I’m only 19. There has been a lot of rainfall in my life, but I know why I am here- standing in the rain.
In the sunshine
You can’t always expect the sunshine to be so great either. When I was young I was naive and that was the way it should be… but we can’t stay that way. If I never scraped my knee, if I never lost a best friend… If I never played in the rain I would drown.
The storm is passing over
I heard a song when I was 12… and to this day I only know one verse. It was simply:
The storm is passing over…
The storm is passing over…
The storm is passing over…
Halelu- hallelujah- hallelujah…
Don’t ask me how, but I have never lost the words or the tune to this song… It is embedding in my mind after hearing it so long ago. I always equate pain and hard time with my spiritual walk. I have been told by many people that things in my past and my response have nothing to do with my spiritual life. It’s real pain and it’s real depression… but it doesn’t mean you don’t trust God. To me… It’s very different.
Hallelujah
I have weathered a good amount of experiences in my life… and I know I am not finished yet. But that is what makes me excited. I have seen the eye of the storm now. I can say that I am alive and that God delivered me. It doesn’t make something like death or betrayal any easier… but it reminds me that God is holding my hand in this storm.
Jesus had to endure storms… at the hand of the sea and at the hands of my sins. All of them bring me back to this constant truth… the storm is passing over. Hallelujah!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Bent
Bent. (2 Cor. 4:7-12)
Today I was challenged. I’m not talking about the necessity to wake up early, stay awake in Spanish class, or not get sick from Mexican food. I speak of a challenge very few people have the opportunity to endure; I had to speak. I know that this is probably a rare problem. The human race is a natural at filling silence with sounds of all kinds whether it’s music, conversation or television. Today was just like the others. Daily: I wake up at 6:30, eat breakfast, get ready for school and ride a bus to school where I sit for 6 hours in Spanish class. After class we ride the bus home and do home work or eat dinner, then head to our evening commitments. But today I was challenged when I felt a wave of reality sweep over me. I was bent into a new dimension it seemed. I wasn’t afraid of this feeling, nor was I upset. Sometimes with situations like this all you can ever do is move on.
When I was 8 years old I traveled through Mount Saint Helens national park in Washington State. I was told about how the volcano exploded uniquely because of the pressure built up. This once beautiful mountain (volcano) and its surroundings were ever changed because the volcano erupted irregularly. As my family drove down the road towards this famous volcano, I saw that the trees leading up to the sight were bent from their natural orientation, almost making an ‘s’ shape. I couldn’t understand how one incident could lead to the permanent change of all its surrounding. It had been 20 years since this volcano erupted and still you could see the wake it left.
I feel the same.
I feel the same as one of those trees along the road that day. It wasn’t dead, it wasn’t debris and it certainly wasn’t the same. So many things in my life have uniquely changed how I see the world around me and how the world sees me.
Not many people know this about me, but I am an artist. My truly artistic side only comes out when I feel the least pressure to perform. Assume what you like, but honestly, I am very protective of things like my art. Now that I’ve said all of this, you may be wondering what Mt Saint Helens, Spanish class, and art all have to do with each other… and the answer is simply, “bent.”
I have felt like a tree, out of my element. The volcano erupted and reality has bent me into a strange new dimension. I cannot hide, I cannot be silent and I can no longer blend in. I am art and I am begging for normalcy.
Bent- not broken.
I mentioned silence in my first paragraph… this was a personal reference to my second language: American Sign Language. It’s hard to explain, because very few people have been in my shoes… but this language is in my heart and in my head. I have days, like today, which I pray for someone I can speak ASL with. I would never say a word if I could… just to be able to express myself to someone. I am a tree, out of alignment and changed forever. I know that God has a plan and he never leaves his people stranded… I am just praying that I can see the beauty in this change.
I would never assume to blame a cultural change like living in Mexico for this feeling… it has been long overdue and is related to things beyond ASL and Spanish. As for culture shock, if I denied having at least a few of these feelings I would be a BIG LIAR. However, for today I think I will say I am ‘Bent’.
For more info behind my train of thought, please read 2 Cor. 4… God bless.
Today I was challenged. I’m not talking about the necessity to wake up early, stay awake in Spanish class, or not get sick from Mexican food. I speak of a challenge very few people have the opportunity to endure; I had to speak. I know that this is probably a rare problem. The human race is a natural at filling silence with sounds of all kinds whether it’s music, conversation or television. Today was just like the others. Daily: I wake up at 6:30, eat breakfast, get ready for school and ride a bus to school where I sit for 6 hours in Spanish class. After class we ride the bus home and do home work or eat dinner, then head to our evening commitments. But today I was challenged when I felt a wave of reality sweep over me. I was bent into a new dimension it seemed. I wasn’t afraid of this feeling, nor was I upset. Sometimes with situations like this all you can ever do is move on.
When I was 8 years old I traveled through Mount Saint Helens national park in Washington State. I was told about how the volcano exploded uniquely because of the pressure built up. This once beautiful mountain (volcano) and its surroundings were ever changed because the volcano erupted irregularly. As my family drove down the road towards this famous volcano, I saw that the trees leading up to the sight were bent from their natural orientation, almost making an ‘s’ shape. I couldn’t understand how one incident could lead to the permanent change of all its surrounding. It had been 20 years since this volcano erupted and still you could see the wake it left.
I feel the same.
I feel the same as one of those trees along the road that day. It wasn’t dead, it wasn’t debris and it certainly wasn’t the same. So many things in my life have uniquely changed how I see the world around me and how the world sees me.
Not many people know this about me, but I am an artist. My truly artistic side only comes out when I feel the least pressure to perform. Assume what you like, but honestly, I am very protective of things like my art. Now that I’ve said all of this, you may be wondering what Mt Saint Helens, Spanish class, and art all have to do with each other… and the answer is simply, “bent.”
I have felt like a tree, out of my element. The volcano erupted and reality has bent me into a strange new dimension. I cannot hide, I cannot be silent and I can no longer blend in. I am art and I am begging for normalcy.
Bent- not broken.
I mentioned silence in my first paragraph… this was a personal reference to my second language: American Sign Language. It’s hard to explain, because very few people have been in my shoes… but this language is in my heart and in my head. I have days, like today, which I pray for someone I can speak ASL with. I would never say a word if I could… just to be able to express myself to someone. I am a tree, out of alignment and changed forever. I know that God has a plan and he never leaves his people stranded… I am just praying that I can see the beauty in this change.
I would never assume to blame a cultural change like living in Mexico for this feeling… it has been long overdue and is related to things beyond ASL and Spanish. As for culture shock, if I denied having at least a few of these feelings I would be a BIG LIAR. However, for today I think I will say I am ‘Bent’.
For more info behind my train of thought, please read 2 Cor. 4… God bless.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Life... as an 'estadounidense' in Mexico
Ok. So things have been going pretty well to be honest. I have become slight sick this weekend, no food is suspected as the culpret... Just good old-fashion sick.
We moved into our apartment smoothly. We have most of the furniture now... Some items were delivered late, but we are trying to respect that things are done differently here. We certainly won't die because our refrigerator was 3 days late... We are learning to genuinely appreciate these items for two reasons.
1. We were Frige deprived for the weekend...
2. None of us had ever purchased a Refrigerator before... they aren't cheap.
You may have noticed the title to this entry... If you do not know what 'estadounidense' means, I will explain. "Estadounidense" means American in spanish. This is just one of the many words that I have learned since beginning Spanish classes on Wednesday. The class I am in is Basic one. We are learning basic Spanish vocabulary and grammar right now. After two weeks of floundaring in "no habla espaniol," this is a refreshing course. I hope to study further and learn what I can from friends and outreach.
All in all I would say this has been a good transition. We are now registered spanish students at UNAM (a major university in Mexico City.) God is good and we are praying for open doors to share the gospel with people we are meeting. Please keep this in your prayers. UNAM is a very large school... and many people speak English. This has already opened a few doors for friendships. I pray that you are having a good day and that you are seeing God's blessings around you. God bless!
We moved into our apartment smoothly. We have most of the furniture now... Some items were delivered late, but we are trying to respect that things are done differently here. We certainly won't die because our refrigerator was 3 days late... We are learning to genuinely appreciate these items for two reasons.
1. We were Frige deprived for the weekend...
2. None of us had ever purchased a Refrigerator before... they aren't cheap.
You may have noticed the title to this entry... If you do not know what 'estadounidense' means, I will explain. "Estadounidense" means American in spanish. This is just one of the many words that I have learned since beginning Spanish classes on Wednesday. The class I am in is Basic one. We are learning basic Spanish vocabulary and grammar right now. After two weeks of floundaring in "no habla espaniol," this is a refreshing course. I hope to study further and learn what I can from friends and outreach.
All in all I would say this has been a good transition. We are now registered spanish students at UNAM (a major university in Mexico City.) God is good and we are praying for open doors to share the gospel with people we are meeting. Please keep this in your prayers. UNAM is a very large school... and many people speak English. This has already opened a few doors for friendships. I pray that you are having a good day and that you are seeing God's blessings around you. God bless!
Monday, June 2, 2008
my team and i...
Went on our first grand adventure... we were with the Tlalpan 1 girls, Nelli Compos and her friend Chelli, also Nelli's father. We went to a school in Apaxco, north of Mexico city where the students were hosting an english culture day. It was exciting! The kids were dressed up as important American and British icons and musicians. Singing, dancing, along with deplays of different holidays and traditions in each country. It was exciting to find a fun sight of 'home' in such an unlikely place :).
We spent the rest of the day with Nelli and her family, eating and watching 'Coach Carter' with her dad- in English :). Soon after a final visit to Nelli's fathers home we made our 3 hour trek home from Apaxco.
Before arriving back at Sean and Jeni's home for the night we visited some missionary friends of the McClues and played board games. It was a long, but very fun day. I can't wait to explore more... especially now that we have an apartment! We will sign the documents tomorrow at 5pm to make it official! I can't wait!
Please keep this and my guy team mates in your prayers. We have had a little quicker success in retrieving a apartment. The one the boys wanted was rented right before they made an offer. So the search has begun once again.
Thank you for reading and supporting and praying for me and this work. I am so excited to be here and begin my plunge into Mexico culture! But now, it's late so I will be going... I'll update you soon!
We spent the rest of the day with Nelli and her family, eating and watching 'Coach Carter' with her dad- in English :). Soon after a final visit to Nelli's fathers home we made our 3 hour trek home from Apaxco.
Before arriving back at Sean and Jeni's home for the night we visited some missionary friends of the McClues and played board games. It was a long, but very fun day. I can't wait to explore more... especially now that we have an apartment! We will sign the documents tomorrow at 5pm to make it official! I can't wait!
Please keep this and my guy team mates in your prayers. We have had a little quicker success in retrieving a apartment. The one the boys wanted was rented right before they made an offer. So the search has begun once again.
Thank you for reading and supporting and praying for me and this work. I am so excited to be here and begin my plunge into Mexico culture! But now, it's late so I will be going... I'll update you soon!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Home Sweet Home!
I am sooo happy to announce that my girl team mates and I found our very own apartment! It took us by suprise... I confess, we assumed that the apartment we would find here in Tlalpan might be close to the same size as the AIM apartments. We were wrong about that :). My coordinator, Sean McClue, had a handful of apartments arranged for all of us to look at and boy were we excited! The one we chose was the very first one we viewed. It has trhee bed rooms and 2 full bath rooms, a large living room, breakfast nook and large/spacious kitchen! It is definitly a blessing. With the space we have we will be able to have guests and space to minister to people during our time here in Tlalpan.
God is good, he's always thinking ahead and preparing the way for us. He opens and closes doors for our benefit... how humbling? God moves mountains...
God is good, he's always thinking ahead and preparing the way for us. He opens and closes doors for our benefit... how humbling? God moves mountains...
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