The things that bother me most are permanent. They are there and that won't change. So why do I waste my time in disagreement? Why would I want to waste time or slam my head full of idea against something so impossible? Something so pointless; surely I'll just be disapointed and discouraged.
But.
What if they aren't really impossible? Those things aren't known for changing, but it's still possible? If I failed should I really be discouraged?
I have been fighting my own mind ever since I can remember.
"To try, or not to try..."
"To peacefully withdraw, or fight."
"To be strange and original, or follow."
I don't just mean the superficial things. To give up or not, to be nice or not, to be origianl or a robot... I mean spiritually.
But.
What if they aren't really impossible? Those things aren't known for changing, but it's still possible? If I failed should I really be discouraged?
I have been fighting my own mind ever since I can remember.
"To try, or not to try..."
"To peacefully withdraw, or fight."
"To be strange and original, or follow."
I don't just mean the superficial things. To give up or not, to be nice or not, to be origianl or a robot... I mean spiritually.
I've done quite a bit of reading in Ecclesiastes. The writer paints a very dim picture of how things we want to accomplish and the work we do is meaningless. But another question is if we never did anything how much purpose would we have?
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
These verses seem very out of place compared to the rest of the book. Describing how the work we do is pointless... but still there is a time and a place for everything.
Maybe, the truth is that all of these things simply pale in comparison to God.
Just because I have bad days and struggle while i'm here in Mexico, doesn't mean that things we do here are pointless. Just because I will fail or stumble while I'm living my life, doesn't mean that it's pointless. There is a time for everthing. Do you want to know who determins that time? The one person that trumps them all.
Ecclesiastes 12:13
13 Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.
The things that bother me the most are permanent. They are stationary. They are difficult. How can I assume they are impossible. It's just all in God's time.
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2 comments:
I think you write very nice and deep comments, yet sometimes a little bit sad. Your entry about people being more like trees is really interesting and left me thinking quite a lot. It would be very interesting to meet you more indeed. BTW, I am the guy that has approached you a couple of times in the microbus. If it freaked you out, am sorry but it's a bit difficult start talking to a complete stranger.
It was relatively easy to find you on the web as you're one of the first entries when typing "Tabitha + Mexico". Drop me a line, it would be nice.
I haven't heard of you so that may be caused by two reasons: a) you've been quite busy or b) you're quite
distressed. As option (b) is more probable, the best I can do is apologise for any concerns I may have caused.
At the moment I feel as if responsible of doing something terribly wrong and up to the point of having caused grave
injuries, so the only think I can say is that it wasn't my intention to scare you or freak you out, honestly.
These are a few details about me. I live in C.D. Leon 17 very near you I think,
am 33 yrs old and live alone. My daily routine is that of any other bureaucrat in this or any other city.
Mon-Fri wake up to go to my job in the city centre and then come back at night to prepare for the next day.
It takes me about 1 hr to get near Zocalo in public transport, so leave my place at around 7:30-8:00 am.
That's how I saw you the first time, taking the microbus. Come back every day at around 9 pm because office hours
in Mexico are quite extended (so no leaving at 5pm). Weekends are just to do my laundry, dry cleaning, etc. I like
to walk so the chances of crossing paths increase on sat and sun afternoons.
Hope these words help a little. Now you have about as much personal details about me than I do about you. Won't be reading this
blog anymore.
I apologise for causing any distress and wish you good luck.
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